i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
