Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
