I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
