Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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