hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
