It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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