Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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