At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
