I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
worst night to have a conscience
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
