And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
