If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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