you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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