so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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