Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
