I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
