I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
handjob tips. give me some.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
