Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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