U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
