Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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