Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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