I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
