He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
