Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
