I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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