I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
