Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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