Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
