fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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