Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can text with my tongue
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
