Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
