So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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