Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
