I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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