tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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