But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
porn star boner night. come get it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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