I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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