stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
