so explain again why im purple
no
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
