How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
