did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
