apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
