Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!

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(312): View more from Illinois

I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr

(269): View more from Michigan

Wat???

(312): View more from Illinois

U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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(626): View more from California

My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

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(407): View more from Florida

If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.

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