if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
