Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My penis needs a shock collar
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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