I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
