You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
