is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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