I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My vagina just recognized that song.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
