the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
