hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
